


If I Fall

by ImagineYourself



Series: A Thousand Unfinished Books [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-02
Updated: 2013-12-02
Packaged: 2018-01-03 05:51:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1066694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineYourself/pseuds/ImagineYourself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had failed to understand even his own emotions, and how easily Sam could influence him.<br/>. . .<br/>Lucifer, being the devil, had seen many souls. He’d seen them crack and splinter before him, the light melt away to be replaced with darkness that let them blend into the background of Hell. But the soul in front of him was bright, brighter than any hellfire, brighter than even Michael or Lucifer himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic to If I fall by Aqualung. I dunno where the interpretation came from, it just kinda happened. I was going to make this a little different, but I've been stuck in writing anything lately and I managed to get this out so oh well. I still like it. The Samifer is quite weak though, but Luci loves his Sammy and all should know that so.

_Swept away_

_By the wonder of it all_

_So amazed_

_Never saw it coming_

_Left me dazed_

_And I don't know where to turn_

 

It all came down to one fateful moment.

The exact moment that Sam took back control. He could see the things that Sam was seeing, he could feel what Sam was feeling, and he knew that he had severely underestimated the younger Winchester. He was expecting there to be a battle of the wills, a test to see which one of them was stronger, and though Lucifer had had plenty of time to get to know the deepest recesses of his vessel’s mind, he failed to truly anticipate just how strong human emotions really are. He had failed to understand even his own, and how easily Sam could influence him.

He saw the little green army toy, in the same place that Sam had smashed it all those years ago. He saw Sam and Dean carving their names, teasing each other, horsing around, laughing, crying, hitting, hugging.

He didn’t stand a chance.

In just seconds, he was down, he was beaten, he was being crushed into the furthest corner of Sam’s mind, and he could feel the control slipping away from him. He would have screamed if he’d had a mouth to scream with. He would have pushed back and fought, if only he had half as much strength as his vessel now had. Instead, he stilled, and he waited for Sam’s move in awe. He watched the scene play out through eyes that he once had, but suddenly understood they were never his as he wanted them to be.

 

_Here and now_

_Seems I’m standing on the edge_

_Looking down_

_I can clearly see your face_

_In the crowd_

_Makes me feel I’m not alone_

_If I fall_

He and Sam fell as one, but they were separate. Michael was beside them, hurtling through the darkness and into the darkest pits of Hell. Lucifer couldn’t feel anything, and the last thing he saw was Sam’s face reflected in the irises of his brother as they moved. Everything was slow, heavy with black and emotions and his own screaming. Or maybe that was Sam? It was impossible to tell. They were in the same body, but Lucifer felt disconnected from his vessel. He felt himself being tugged, and not just down, but _out_. Away.

“Sam!” he called out, not so much in a voice as in sound waves that rippled around them with the air that was slowly becoming hotter and more stagnant as time passed.

 

_If I fall_

 

“Sam! Hold onto me!”

Lucifer tried to grab onto the human, tried to clutch through the dark tendrils around them to hold onto Sam. He remembered falling the first time, he remembered the long descent, the eerie whooshing of the air, it was all so familiar. But he also remembered the impact. The crunch of ethereal bones and the proverbial echo of his wings cracking and splintering. His own screams of pain as he curled around himself and tried to breath in the harsh, hot air. He’d still endure it a thousand times to keep Sam from feeling it.

 

_If I fall_

If Sam said something or tried to reach back, the angel didn’t feel or hear him. So he moved fast. As Lucifer was dragged from Sam’s body, back into his true form, he wrapped himself around the human’s soul, intending to be a barrier to the brunt of the collision. It felt so small in his arms, almost like a child. He held Sam tightly, wings wrapped around the both of them even as Sam’s body fell away from them and they became a mass of grace and soul. He couldn’t see Michael, but he could feel the presence of his brother as Michael’s vessel was stripped away, soul having already left and body burning slowly into ashes that followed them down.

“Sam, if you can hear me, get ready, we’re about to—”

 

_Will you catch me?_

 

The words were ripped away from Lucifer as they stopped falling. He fell into his back, and for a short, blissful second, everything was calm and silent. Then a blood-curdling scream tore through his eardrums, and after another second it was echoed back until Lucifer wasn’t sure if it was even coming from his mouth or if it ever had been. The screams ebbed into breathless pants and whimpers of pain that only subsided when shivers wracked through his bones and rendered him incapable of making any sound for fear of tearing his lungs with the force of his screams.

Lucifer didn’t know how long he lay there; long enough for the pain to start drifting away as his grace pulled him back together bit by bit. Eventually, with only a sharp throbbing roiling through him, he was able to move slightly. He sat up, surprised to find the limp bulk of Sam still within his grasp. His soul was shining brightly and though he was not quite awake, he seemed unharmed. Looking around him, Lucifer saw his brother a ways off, the light of his grace dim, though it appeared as a beacon in the dark, depths of Hell. Hushed breaths emanated from the heap of the archangel and Lucifer looked away, turning his attention back to the being in his hands.

 

_Seems to me_

_I'm exactly where I dreamt_

_I would be_

_And the view from here is something to see_

_But I need a hand to hold on to_

 

Sam wasn’t moving, and the angel peered at him in worry. Before Lucifer’s eyes, his form was changing, shifting in the new landscape, to take the shape of his former self, though there was a soft light that seemed to glow from just beneath the surface of his skin. Lucifer, being the devil, had seen many souls. He’d seen them crack and splinter before him, the light melt away to be replaced with darkness that let them blend into the background of Hell. But the soul in front of him was bright, brighter than any hellfire, brighter than even Michael or Lucifer himself.

His brother suddenly moved and Lucifer immediately turned his head, moving his wings painfully in an effort to shield Sam. For a few moments, everything was still and silent. Michael didn’t stir again. When he felt it was safe, Lucifer gingerly relaxed, setting Sam down beside him and turning so that his wing was stretched over them both as a sort of blanket. He curled his body around the soul, his gaze wide and open in case his brother decided to move or any wandering demons came near. Every few minutes or so he would look at Sam, hoping that the soul would awaken soon so he would know the human was all right, but also hoping that he would never wake, and never bear witness to the burning darkness that surrounded them.

 

_If I fall_

_Will you catch me?_


End file.
